I Want To Tell You About A Special Girl!

I wanted to tell you all, about a very very special girl. the kind of girl, every man in the world wants. the kind of girl that makes you feel lucky just to even know her. The kind, that makes you feel alive <3

My girlfriend, is this girl.
Her name is Marija, and it sounds so very very sweet to my ears!

Marija is hands down, one of the most beautiful,most amazing,most kind,fun,talented,helpful,loving people, you could ever meet in this world. i truly am, the luckiest man in the world to even have her in my life, but to have her, to love her, and to have her love me back.....its impossible to even begin to describe how lucky i am! <3

When i first met Marija, it was on PewDiePie.net and we met over the shout box. i was randomly talking with a girl named femalebro (or fema for short) and Marija (Blue) said hello to me =)
now, the second she said that....i felt something....weird.

you see, before her, i had been destroyed so many times by all of the people around me, and i dont mean in just love. i mean all friendships i had, were severed. people beat me, abused me, tortured me, pushed me down and stood on my chest, barely giving me a chance to breathe. i never thought i would find someone who would even want to be my friend. but when she talked to me....i immediately felt....drawn to her. my...my stomach just...filled with butterflies and, i actually smiled...

i hadn't smiled for a couple of years...not a real one anyway. so...as you can imagine, this all felt....weird to me...but in a good way! soon after that, we found ourselves on msn and we literally talked ALL DAY! god that was such a wonderful day! <3 <3 <3

i still remember how i told her that i....i really liked her.....i was in love with her...
Me:"im nervous to tell her that i like her"
Her:" Come on, its easy! ill go so you can tell her!"
me: "if you go....i cant tell her"
Her:"And why not?"
me:"Because.....you....are her...."


i was so nervous to tell her how i felt, and...she picked up on it really really early! XD
for about an hour and a half she kept trying to get me to gather up enough courage and tell her the truth about how i felt XD

Even today, i still sit here....shocked at how lucky i truly am to have someone as amazing as her, in my life, and in my future. i really wish, i was poetic enough and smart enough to begin thinking of words.....words to try and tell her, how lucky i feel, and how much i truly love her <3

Its hard, because in my mind....nothing comes close. not a single thing. But even if i cant find the right words....one thing...is very....very clear. something that cannot be denied..

I love you Marija,
I love everything about you!
I love who you are, 
I love what you are, 
I love all the things you do, 
I love all the things you say!

Every time i think about you, i cant help but smile. it really is impossible for me to hold it back, because you fill my stomach with so many butterflies, some times i start laughing and crying tears of joy! <3

Marija, you are my absolute everything, and without you....i would be totally lost.
you are that one light.....that one bright light that is able to pierce the veil of darkness cast over my life.
You pierce through, warm my skin, heal my heart, and brighten up my life <3

I love you Marija,
I am forever yours!
I truly cant wait to see you this Christmas!
and i cant wait to slip that ring on your finger<3

You are my Life
You are my Love
You are my Smile
You are my Laughter
You are my Everything

You are, MY Marija <3

Day 17: Things that make me Afeared D:

(the real title is things that make me scared but i like saying a-fear-ed as one word to replace scared...because why not? its cute :3 )

well, ill just make a little list ^_^ (by the way, these arent in any order, but i will clearly point out the one that scares me the most :P )

1: Spiders....i fucking hate spiders....they make me angry, and very scared at the same time, ESPECIALLY tarantulas....i want to burn those damn things....but, i have to have like some military grade flame thrower in order to do so because i am NOT getting ANYWHERE near those fuckers....

2: Driving, now this is a weird one, because driving is important now. its not MY driving that scares me, because i actually do pretty damn well ^_^
its actually the other people on the road. i cannot control how they drive, how they pay attention, and weather or not they text while they drive. so basically, i cant stop them from doing something stupid and running into me, or running out in front of me by going through a red light/stop sign.

3: Failing school. i have only recently (as in this year) actually started trying in school so my previous years have hurt my GPA (grade point average) but this year i am doing pretty well actually! :D
but anyway, its to the point that if i fail even half of a class, i wont graduate this year so...it scares me even IF im doing as well as i have been ;-;

4: Losing Marija (this, is the thing that scares me the most...)
This here, is my absolute biggest fear. kinda weird eh? not my own death, not pain, not even the loss of my mother. My biggest fear, is losing the woman i love....

now...this is my biggest fear because, before she came along, my life was full of nothing but darkness. i had been tortured, abused, beaten, hated, and just pushed away from everyone. i was truly...alone and i hated everyone and everything in the world, because it hated me....

Marija turned that all around for me. she shows me love, shows me kindness, and is that one bright, warm light....the only light that is able to pierce the veil of darkness, and warm my skin <3
i have a future with her, i have a life with her, i have a reason to life with her, and....i have a reason to smile, because of her <3
Marija is my everything, and if i ever truly lost her...my entire world would come crashing down within an instant. i love her....there is not much more to say....other than...

i truly...deeply...love her <3


AAAAANYYYYWAAAAY!
this was day 17! ill see you all tomorrow :D
(actually later today, but that post is for my precious gem <3 )