(the real title is things that make me scared but i like saying a-fear-ed as one word to replace scared...because why not? its cute :3 )
well, ill just make a little list ^_^ (by the way, these arent in any order, but i will clearly point out the one that scares me the most :P )
1: Spiders....i fucking hate spiders....they make me angry, and very scared at the same time, ESPECIALLY tarantulas....i want to burn those damn things....but, i have to have like some military grade flame thrower in order to do so because i am NOT getting ANYWHERE near those fuckers....
2: Driving, now this is a weird one, because driving is important now. its not MY driving that scares me, because i actually do pretty damn well ^_^
its actually the other people on the road. i cannot control how they drive, how they pay attention, and weather or not they text while they drive. so basically, i cant stop them from doing something stupid and running into me, or running out in front of me by going through a red light/stop sign.
3: Failing school. i have only recently (as in this year) actually started trying in school so my previous years have hurt my GPA (grade point average) but this year i am doing pretty well actually! :D
but anyway, its to the point that if i fail even half of a class, i wont graduate this year so...it scares me even IF im doing as well as i have been ;-;
4: Losing Marija (this, is the thing that scares me the most...)
This here, is my absolute biggest fear. kinda weird eh? not my own death, not pain, not even the loss of my mother. My biggest fear, is losing the woman i love....
now...this is my biggest fear because, before she came along, my life was full of nothing but darkness. i had been tortured, abused, beaten, hated, and just pushed away from everyone. i was truly...alone and i hated everyone and everything in the world, because it hated me....
Marija turned that all around for me. she shows me love, shows me kindness, and is that one bright, warm light....the only light that is able to pierce the veil of darkness, and warm my skin <3
i have a future with her, i have a life with her, i have a reason to life with her, and....i have a reason to smile, because of her <3
Marija is my everything, and if i ever truly lost her...my entire world would come crashing down within an instant. i love her....there is not much more to say....other than...
i truly...deeply...love her <3
AAAAANYYYYWAAAAY!
this was day 17! ill see you all tomorrow :D
(actually later today, but that post is for my precious gem <3 )
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